Is your heart still mine
I want to cry sometimes
-Aaliyah ("I Miss You")
(Nicki.)
“Call him now.” As soon as Nicki walked into her dorm from early volleyball practice, Amber was shoving the phone that Nicki had left into her hand.
“Fine.” Nicki sighed, dropping her gym bag on the floor and closing the door behind her. She took the phone from Amber’s hand and plopped on her bed as Amber got ready to leave and go to class. Nicki dialed his number as Amber blew her a kiss and left out. The taunting rings made Nicki nervous as she picked at the threads in her blanket.
“Hello?” The voice on the other end was not Drake. Nicki pulled the phone from her ear and did a double take. Maybe I’m hearing things. “Hello?” No it was definitely a female voice.
“Uh...can I speak to Drake?” She spoke cautiously.
“He’s sleeping, who’s calling?” Nicki had to pick her jaw up from the floor before she could respond.
“His girlfriend Nicki.”
“Oh, hey Nicki. This is Porsha, I’m Drake’s friend. I’ll tell him you called.”
“Please do.”
“I will.” Pause. “Oh and Nicki? Be careful.” Click. Nicki snatched the phone away from her and looked it over making sure she dialed the right number. Nicki blew air of her cheeks and tossed her phone up the bed. A girl doesn’t just show up early in the morning, answering phones. She had to have spent the night with Drake. Coming to this realization, Nicki’s emotions were somewhere between heartbroken and angry.
(Drake.)
“Graham, you’re late.” Coach Ryers chastised Drake as he came running onto the football field where the rest of the team was already doing warm ups.
“Sorry Coach.” Drake jogged over to his usual spot on the turf, next to Noah and began stretching his calf muscles.
“What’s up man?” Noah asked. It was unlike Drake to be late to practice, he was one of the more responsible one’s on the team.
“I forgot to set my alarm. I would’ve still been sleeping if Porsha didn’t wake me up.” Drake said nonchalantly, baffling Noah.
“What? Nigga, let me get this straight. You turn down pussy left and right from the finest girls this place has to offer, but you choose to cheat on your girl with Porsha? Nigga, that’s low.” Noah shook his head as Coach Ryers ordered them to start running laps around the field.
“You know it’s not like that. She came over to chill last night and that’s exactly what we did.” The two jogged side by side.
“If you’re girl find out, you gone wish you had got some.”
“Graham, Shebib! Less talking more running!” They obeyed. Drake knew that he was innocent and did nothing wrong. He was only hanging with a friend, who happened to be a girl. Morning came and they parted ways, there was nothing more to the story. Even if Nicki was to find out , he couldn’t see how she would, but she’d understand. Just to clear his mind he’d call her after practice,he still didn’t know why she didn’t pick up the phone yesterday.
(Nicki)
“Bitches do lie Nic.” Nicki sat her food container down on one of the tables she was sharing with Amber. They decided to grab something to eat after Amber’s class was over.
“I’m starting to think this is more than we can handle.” It hurt Nicki to utter the words but it was truly how she felt. Being miles and miles away from each other had definitely put a strain on her and Drake’s relationship. “Don’t get me wrong, I love him. I just don’t want us to start hating each other.” Amber rolled her eyes at Nicki. “What?”
“You know, I used to think you were one of the smartest people I knew.” Amber said nothing else as she sipped from her water.
“And I used to think you were sane.” Nicki countered, picking through her turkey sandwich.
“Seems like we were both sadly mistaken.” Amber shot back. “Alright so let’s break this down,” Amber placed her cap back on her water and pulled Nicki’s sandwich from in front of her. so she could grab her full attention. “So approximately 8 months ago you couldn’t stop talking about this Drake kid. How much you loved him and yadda yadda yadda.” Nicki chuckled at her friend. “And cut to 8 months later and you’re telling me that you’re willing to throw away a 5 year relationship because a girl answers his phone and says ‘Be careful’?. Let’s not forget Ms. Maraj that just yesterday you locked lips with a random. If Drake was to hear that story with no explanation from you, what’d you think he’d be thinking? I think you both have some ‘splainin to do. I’m not a romantic but I’d say this relationship is worth fighting for.”
“And what are we supposed to do when something else pops up? When we get tired of the skypes or the phone calls or-”
“Excuse me. Don’t mean to interrupt-”
“Well you are!” Amber cut off Isaiah. She was fed up with this whole situation and was about to put an end to it. “She’s taken ok?” Nicki buried her face in her hands, embarrassed by her friend. “She doesn’t want you or your dreads, cute baby face, your muscles...She doesn’t want it ok? So poof, be gone.” Isaiah was shocked. Nicki looked up at him and opened her mouth to say something but Amber quickly pointed a finger at her. “And don’t you say nothing. I'm tired of this shit."
“She’s off her meds.” Nicki quickly told Isaiah before Amber could cut her off. Instead, Amber quickly shot daggers through her. “But she’s right, I have a boyfriend.”
“I respect that. I just came over here to apologize. It was never in my intentions to cause any problems.”
“Well, that was very nice of you. Now bye.”
“Amber, be nice.” Nicki chastised. She looked down at the table as her phone vibrated across it and Drake’s name displayed. “Excuse me.” She got up from the table and took a breath answering the phone. “Hello?”
“Nicki?” Drake sounded so hopeful and it wasn’t until now that she realized how much she missed hearing his voice. She smiled as she sat down at a table, that seemed to be excluded from the others.
“Hey Aubrey.” Her voice was very soft, like a child, as her dimple sank deep into her cheek.
“Glad to finally hear your voice.”
“Yeah, about that..” Would she tell him why she’d been ignoring his calls? “Listen baby, I - Who was the girl that answered your phone this morning when I called you?” She had almost forgotten about the incident this morning.
“What?” Drake asked, obviously taken aback.
“I tried to call you this morning and some girl, Mercedes, Lexus...”
“Porsha.” Drake corrected making Nicki upset that he actually took the time out to correct her, like he was aggravated at her messing up the girl’s name. “She’s just a friend.”
“Oh, so we’re allowed to have friends of the opposite sex, sleepover?”
“It was innocent. Honest babe.”
“Fine.”
“Fine what?” Drake could sense her attitude.
“Nothing, just fine.” Nicki answered.
“Nicki, what’s going on? What’s happening with us?” Nicki broke down at this. She leaned back against the table and shook her head. “We never argued this much...or ever for that matter.”
“I know, I know. It’s just hard.” She felt the tears building up. She blinked a couple of times to keep them from falling. “Au- Aubrey... I love you so much. You know that. I just don’t think... I think we need to take a break.” There was a long pause and Nicki took this time to explain herself. “We’re so many miles apart. We’re not talking like we used to, we argue I just don’t want us to end up hating each other.” There was another long pause. “Aubrey?”
“...Yeah. I’m here.” He cleared his throat and Nicki shut her eyes tight, waiting for him to say something. Anything. “I...I gotta go, alright?” The line went dead. Nicki turned around to the table and put her head down. So many emotions were taking over her. She was angry, mad, sad, hurt. She felt like she had to throw up everything she had ever eaten.
(Drake.)
“Drake! You ready man?” Drake sat on his bed, his head in his hands Here it was Saturday and Nicki was still on his mind. How could she just end things like that? He hadn’t done anyone wrong, hadn’t caused any trouble but yet it seemed like karma was kicking his ass. Noah walked into the room, kicking the blankets that were piled on the floor. He looked at his best friend and shook his head. He’d never seen him this low. “Ay, if you don’t want to go...” Drake looked up.
“Nah. I’m coming.” He stood up, dusting his jeans off. He grabbed his keys off the end table and shoved his phone in his pocket.
“Shit gon work itself out, man.” Noah said as they walked out of the dorm.
Stepping into the party, Drake had to remind himself that he was single. That he shouldn’t feel guilty for being here where he knew things could get out of hand. Noah patted him on the back. “Let’s go get a drink.” As soon at Drake took a step into the crowd it seemed like girls attached themselves to him.
“Hey Graham. Dance with me?” She held onto his torso, looking up at him.
“I got you later.” He gently pushed her off of his side and went to the kitchen. A game of beer pong was in full swing. He moved passed some people and a cup was pushed into his hand. He looked up and noticed it was Fredric, one of his teammates.
“Drink that.” He downed the drink in the red cup, ignoring the burn in his chest. “Graham came to party.” Fredric said as Drake gave him back the cup and took another off the counter. He downed it again. He was waiting for the absent mindedness to kick in. Where he didn’t have to think about Nicki . That was easier said than done. 4 more cups of the mysterious drink later and Drake was in the middle of the dance floor, a girl throwing her ass back in front of him. He held onto her waist loosely as she grinded against him to Ciara’s Body Party.
Porsha smiled from across the room She’d been watching Drake for a while now. “Watch me work.” She handed her cup off to her friend and moved through the sweaty bodies to get to Drake. By the look on his face, she knew that he had threw a couple back and was ready to take full advantage. She stepped in front of the no name who was dancing on Drake. “Move.” The girl looked up at Porsha and Porsha looked back at her. “Bitch ,I said move.” The girl sucked her teeth and detached herself from Drake. Porsha quickly took her spot. She wrapped her arms around Drake’s neck.
“Porshe?” Drake squinted his eyes, even though they were faced to face.
“Yeah baby. Who else?” She licked her lips. Even when he was completely hammered he was still sexy as fuck. “Girlfriend let you off the leash?”
“Fuckher.” Of course he didn’t mean it.
“Oops. Want to tell me what happened?” Porsha played the concerned friend role well, but she was dancing with excitement on the inside. Drake shook his head no. “Want me to make you feel better?” Not waiting for an answer, she turned around and put her all into getting Drake to a full blown erection. She moved her hips rhythmically to ‘How Many Drinks?’ When Drake’s grip got tighter she knew she had him. She smiled and stood up straight, turning around to him.
“Shit Nic.” Drake muttered. Porsha rolled her eyes at the slip up. But not even that could change her plans. She grabbed onto his hands.
“Give me your keys baby.”
“Why?” Porsha ignored him and dug into his pocket herself, pulling out the keys. She grabbed his hand and looked back at her friend waving at her and then pushing through bodies to get to the front door and out to the parking lot. She helped him to get into the passenger seat before getting into the driver’s side. “I’m sooo fucked up.” Drake leaned his head back, his hand over his face. He put his hand down and looked out the window. “Shiiiiiiiit.” He laughed and put his head back.
“I’m taking you home babe.”
- - - - -
“What the hell happened that night?” Noah asked Drake. 3 weeks ater and Drae still didnt know what happened. All he remembers is waking up in his bed, naked and breafast sitting on his endtable.
“Fuck if I know.” Drake took hiss seat, in the third row of the lecture hall. Noah took a seat next to him.
“Thats how you know you had a good time.” He laughed, opening his notebook. Both of them looked up , when something blocked the light. Porsha was standing infront of the both of them.
“Drake, we need to talk.”
“Talk about what?” He hadn’t talked to her in a while. It seemed like she was avoiding him at all cost.
“I’ll tell you later, it’s private.” She glanced at Noah and then back at Drake. “See you at your dorm?”
“Yeah, sure.” Drake answered. Porsha walked away and Noah shook his head.
“Fuck you doin bro?”
“What you gettin at?”Drake asked, taking a pen out of his pocket. Noah sighed and shook his head. Drake understood that Noah thought something was going on between him and Porsha. They were nohing but friends He didn’t even look at her as potentially being more than that.
20 minutes into clss and Drake recieved a text message.
Hey, I was wondering if you were coming home for Spring Break?
It was Nicki. He’d been ignoring her phone calls for 3 weeks now. He couldn’t bring himself to talk to her. What more could she say afteer already stomping on his heart. He decided to respond t the message.
Yea.
Not even a minute later a new text came through.
I was hoping we could talk.
What do we have to talk about?
Aubrey please...
We’ll see
Ok. My mom is having a dinner.
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t dying to see Nicki but he was also a bit apprehensive. He loved her. She’s his first love and vice versa but he was hurting. He gave her his all and she wanted to take a ‘break’ . It didn’t make sense to him when she said it and it still doesn’t make sense. It’s a long distance relationship, problems are expected but that doesn’t mean you throw in the towel when things get tough. And the thought of her with someone else kept creeping in his mind and made him livid.
(Nicki.)
She took a deep breath and pressed her fingers to her temple. She felt the headache coming on and she knew it was because she was stressing. She needed to talk to Drake She needed to make sure that he was ok. That didn’t hate her. She loved Drake way to much and she could never stop even if he did hate her. She sighed as she paced her shirt inside the suitcase. She was excited to go back but nervous also. This would be her first time seeing Drake in a while. What if she looked different to him? What if he ignored her? God forbid he’d found somebody else already.
Call me later, alright?
Nicki’s heartbeat jumped at Drake’s message. He did care.
(Drake)
He opened the door, to see Porsha standing there, her head down. “What’s wrong Porsh?” He moved to the side and let her walk in. He glanced at his phone that was lighting up on the top of the TV. It was probably Nicki. Drake had made sure she had a way to get back to New York safely. Just because he was upset doesn’t mean he stopped caring.
“I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. It’s just...” Drake closed the door and turned to look at Porsha.
“What?” He moved and grabbed his phone from the top of the TV. He grinned the message Nicki sent. Porsha glared at him. She knew it was Nicki. She quickly masked her anger.
“I’ve just... you know after that night I feel like such a... slut.” Drake stopped everything he was doing.
“What? What night?” He cautiously asked.
“You know. The night of the party.”
“What?”
“You don’t remember? We were dancing and you asked me if I wanted to go back to your dorm and I said yeah.. and we ..ya know.” She motioned over to the bed with her hand. Drake placed his phone down and looked at Porsha. He didn’t. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he did. “You told me you wanted to be with me.”
“No, i didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did.” Porsha moved closer to Drake. “Lucky for you, I didn’t take you serious. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. But I can’t anymore.”
“Wait. So you’re saying me and you had sex?”
“Yes! Damn good sex if you ask me.” Porsha placed her hand on her hip. “There was only one problem.” Drake rubbed a hand down his face. He knew he shouldn’t have gone to that party.
“What?”
“We didn’t use a condom.” She got agravated by the devastated look on his face like it was the worse possible thing in the world. “I’m pregnant.”
“Huh, wait what?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“You can’t.. it’s not possible.” He looked at the confused look on her face. “I mean it’s possible but I don’- how?”
“When a guy really likes a girl they-”
“Sarcasm is really not needed right now.” He glared at her and then sat on the edge of his bed burying his head into his hands. This can’t be happening , wait until Nicki finds out.
